I Feel Dissatisfied and am unsure how to feel fulfilled.?

I feel dissatisfied with the relationship I am in with my husband. I feel exhausted from trying to live up to his expectations and to be the person he wants me to be. I feel like if he truly loved me, he wouldn't want me to change. What do you think? I mean, I know everyone has problems, and I can try to fix all of mine, but shouldn't he be able to live with me as I am, instead of trying to control everything? For example, he says that I don't know how to monitor our bill paying, so now he is in control of the money. When he and I first started dating, he read an email of mine to a guy from school about meeting up like an hour before an exam to study (a guy whom I had absolutely no feelings for, lol) and got REALLY angry and that argument ended with me deleting most of my guy friends from facebook (over 300 people). Later, he started complaining that the way I did things were always wrong, he would call me dirty and lazy, and clumsy. He was my first and our first time having sex was not intimate. I didn't know what I was doing and I was so embarrassed. He made me be on top and then started yelling at me when I didn't know what I was doing. After that I never really looked forward to sex, it was so stressful for me trying to perform like he wanted. Now we are fine except I have a problem getting excited before we start, which he also gets angry about. He gets angry if dinner isn't ready on time, he tells me who he thinks would be good friends for me and who wouldn't. He controls what I wear...(whether its too revealing or not, etc) and tells me I have a bad sense of style and so he picks out clothes for me. He complains that I wear my hair the same all the time, if I wear sweats to walmart he gets annoyed and says I look homeless. He says I don't spend enough money on myself (wouldn't most guys be happy about that?). I work full-time, I cook dinner (from scratch) every night, I make the beds, wash the dishes, do the laundry, sweep the floors...I have a pet rabbit which I love, that I have to get rid of (because it chewed on some of his stuff). I have a bad memory and am really forgetful, one day when my mom was sick, she went to the hospital and so we drove to the hospital that she normally goes to, but then found out she was at a different one. He was so mad at me, he said he couldn't believe I graduated from college and that just because you did doesn't mean you are smart (I got a 3.7 gpa in biology, I know I am not that smartest, but I am definitely not what I would call stupid). I don't know what to do to make this situation better. He says I am just oversensitive and I know its true, but I just want things to change. And I know his temper probably isn't going to change, so it's left up to me to be the one to change. But I don't know that I can...I try really hard to be a good wife, but I never feel good enough. Also, I am starting to wonder if maybe I have a co-dependency problem, any thoughts on this?